Shop Mobile More Submit  Join Login

:iconlivingcomforteagle: More from livingcomforteagle

Featured in Collections

Literature by DayinTynSane

Writings by oc-eanwide

.writings. by Violent-Passion

More from DeviantArt


Submitted on
August 18, 2008
File Size
6.0 KB


71 (who?)
Your daughter is afraid to go downstairs in her pajamas because she feels like a balloon animal inside of them. (Do not take this as an excuse to go out and buy her new ones.) Your daughter would extremely enjoy the sight of two men kissing. (In fact, your daughter is somewhat of a homophiliac.) Your daughter has only seen porn twice, but she has read porn more times than one should count. (The second time was in the corner of the screen during American Psycho; the other, on a stumbled-onto-out-of-curiosity Web site.)

Your daughter is nervous about a lot of things. (Including, but not limited to: drugs, tornadoes, fire, insects, heights, pain, humiliation, strangers, large dogs, public speaking, real blood, childbirth, open wounds, flying, and people.) Your daughter is endlessly, inexorably, and inexplicably fascinated with both pedophilia and incest. (Don't give her that look.) Your daughter does not know why this is, but she blames The End of Alice, Lolita, the Internet, and your cousin. (You know, the sixteen-year-old.)

Your daughter wishes that you would stop calling yourself fat. (She has never seen you that way—honestly.) Your daughter will never, ever be prepared to talk about body image with you. (When you try to, she will puff her cheeks up with air and give you two-word answers.) Your daughter will also never, ever be good at visual art. (She is, however, sorry that she cried when you made her practice with your father.) Your daughter thinks that your mother is the best, most inspiring conversationalist she knows. (She wishes you would get over whatever history you two have.)

Your daughter is the combined bad side of you and your husband. (From you, she is passive-aggressive, lazy, rant-prone, controlling, depressive, grudge-holding, fatigued, self-conscious, and judgmental; from him, she is anxious, excuse-laden, impatient, money-tight, exaggerating, uncomfortably honest, naive, unnervingly awkward and irritable.) Your daughter is nothing more, and your daughter knows this. (She wishes you would accept it, too.)

Your daughter does not know what to do with compliments, but your daughter adores praise. (Even from her parents.) Your daughter still remembers the day you told her that her family is cursed with broad shoulders and woman-hips, but "blessed with big boobs and nice legs." (She has yet to believe that this supposed blessing is coming for her.) Your daughter will always hate the weather, and your daughter will always bear resentment towards the wind. (Do not try to talk her out of it.)

Your daughter will always love to have her water just a little too warm, and her temperature just a little too cool. (She will probably always sweat too easily, and her skin will always be unnaturally cold.) Your daughter wants to look like a short, petite fourteen-year-old girl for the first time in her life, like she is supposed to. (Do not try to convince her otherwise—she knows you'll try.)

Your daughter will never be okay with food. (She may always treat eating as an obligation rather than a need.) Your daughter will never know what to do with her hands. (Let her bite them.) Your daughter will never have clean wrists. (You will get used to the sight of the bruises, the grown-in hair, the faded marks; she has.) Your daughter will always shower twice a day. (She is glad water is cheap in South Carolina.)

Your daughter will always compulsively collect bits of string, ribbon, leaves, twigs, buttons and shopping lists, and your daughter will never know where to put them. (Do not complain about her messy desk.) Your daughter will never be interested in crafts like you want her to be. (She will go with you to your miniature conventions anyway.) Your daughter will always want to see her favorite movies in the theatres two or three times. (The Dark Knight, Iron Man, and Sweeney Todd are just the beginning.)

Your daughter will never get quite enough sleep and your daughter will always be open to exploiting her grandparents. (She is amused when you tell her you find it disgusting.) Your daughter still has a too-high risk of becoming agoraphobic. (There is a reason she has not told you.) Your daughter can never thank you and your husband enough for staying together. (She does not know what a messy divorce could have done to her.)

Your daughter does not understand how she can be so terribly naive and so unwaveringly cynical simultaneously. (She blames both of you.) Your daughter does not always see the best in people but she believes that it is there. (She thinks that might be good enough.)

Your daughter will always say "goodbye" instead of "goodnight." (She never means it, though.) Your daughter hopes you will not cringe when she uses "fuck." (Don't.) Your daughter is still terrified that she secretly has a nasty bout of cancer and no one will tell her. (Promise her that if she did, you wouldn't hide it from her.)

Your daughter does not know how she will support herself when she moves out. (She's a little afraid.) Your daughter will still be secretly convinced that every man she meets is a serial killer and rapist. (Do not ask her about it.) Your daughter does love you. (Yes, even when she denies it, playfully.) Your daughter also does not know why she is so afraid to hug you. (Please do not take it personally.)

But mostly, your daughter wants you to know that absolutely none of this is your fault, no matter how you are convinced that you raised her to be a heathen, a bastard, a worry-wart and a little, tiny girl. (Well, maybe her mouth; you were the one to introduce her to South Park.)

Your daughter also forever has the image of Christian Bale's naked butt burned into her head, and she's sure you do, too. (You are her mother, after all.)

Love (and she means it),
Your Daughter

special edition: a list of (incredibly true) things i have not mustered the courage to tell my mother. dude, if i was to ever come with a manual, this is the closest thing to.. being one. yes.

hey guys

i think i may be getting off my hiatus soon

but right now south park is on, so um

checking my messages atm is out of the freaking question

also: mass effect is awesome

so is gay fic porn

and watching the birdcage with your parents

and penny arcade referencing rpgs i've played in jokes so i can laugh along and not feel like elitist shit

and writing pieces about necrophilia when you know nothing about dead bodies

and becoming obsessed with silent hill when you haven't even played any of the fucking games

and having a ridiculous amount of crap in common with your dental-hygienist assistant

and, um, rufus wainwright's rendition of hallelujah, which i totally pirated because no way in hell am i paying ten dollars for it on itunes

and demetri martin, because i'm convinced his mother conceived him with a piece of awesome (and some really-fucking-awesome sperm)

and when south park plays for an hour on comedy central instead of just a half hour

and winning =yourpleasantdarkness's contest

and linking to things because you are secretly trying to get everyone else into them

and my chuck norris tshirt.

(this last one is especially awesome. did you know that chuck norris does not leave messages, but warnings? and that chuck norris refers to himself in the fourth person? and that he can split the atom with his bare hands? true story.)

and that concludes the list of Things That Are Awesome.

(also, that was one of the Things That Warrant Capitalization.)

and i'm thinking that this is the new generation of repetition literature: REPETITIVE ARTIST'S COMMENTS.

come on, you're tempted.

word count: 989
listening to: we've got a big mess on our hands - the academy is
(c) LeeAnn - 2008
Add a Comment:
captainisabella Featured By Owner Oct 23, 2013
I wish My sister could read this it might have save her life. Thank you for hope to other who cannot get there feeling out
Freaky-Foot Featured By Owner Nov 8, 2008
Mothers will be mothers, I suppose, even though sometimes I wish the wouldn't.

Oh, and all those things listed, yes, they are amazing. Demetri Martin is practically a god.
hidden133 Featured By Owner Sep 24, 2008
This is so beautifully written,
and I could relate to almost every line.
great job!
Kept-in-the-dark Featured By Owner Sep 10, 2008
weird yetv scary question; r u me? its just random u just seem the same :)
livingcomforteagle Featured By Owner Sep 11, 2008
=P i am about 80% sure that i am not you.
Kept-in-the-dark Featured By Owner Sep 12, 2008
XD stil u neva no on the net lol
livingcomforteagle Featured By Owner Sep 15, 2008
this is TRUTH.
Kept-in-the-dark Featured By Owner Sep 16, 2008
:) XD ur writings great by the way it flows really well
livingcomforteagle Featured By Owner Sep 16, 2008
hey thanks! :)
Kept-in-the-dark Featured By Owner Sep 16, 2008
dont mention it :)
Add a Comment: